First Kisses: Or Some Guys Have All The Luck
by reliance
Summary: A tidy little one shot. What happens when Mustang's men get him to tell the story of his first kiss.


**First Kisses: **

**Or Some Guys Have All The Luck**

**Author's Note: **A tidy little one shot offered in gratitude and appreciation.

**Disclaimer: **Not Mine. Nope. Notta. Nient. Obviously No Infringement Intended. Imitation after all is the best form of flattery.

**The Set Up:** The Colonel's men take a few minutes break in the office. They get to talking about first kisses and draw the Colonel into their conversation.

-o0o-

"Com'on colonel who was yours?" Havoc grinned devilishly as he chewed on a cigarette which Lt. Hawkeye wouldn't let him light.

"My first kiss?" Roy Mustang leaned dangerously back in his desk chair scratching his chin and giving his trademark smirk "I was... 8... yes Lucy Pinot. Kissed me because Rosita dared her to."

The others nod disappointed but willing to accept the simple story. However, Bredda paused for a moment, squinting his eyes in thought "Wait... Wait a minute Lucy Pine, Lu-Lu?"

Havoc stopped mid chew, catching on fast "And Rosita, Black Rosie? Aren't those Madam Christmas' girls?"

Mustang shrugged there was no harm being caught in a truth "well, yeah"

Not ready to let his commanding officer get off easy, Havoc pressed the issue "didn't you say those girls were like family?"

Seeing no reason to change his answer Mustang shrugged once more "well, yeah. What's your point."

Havoc leaned forward in interest laying down the challenge "The agreement was, first kiss NOT family"

Mustang turned away from them in his chair. "Really?" he asked avoiding their eyes and their question.

Insistent; Havoc wasn't above prying. "Yes, its not as if you only have one or two to choose from." He's sorry but he can't help it when his eyes shift to Furey. The young man had stammered his way through his own admission, looking as if he would die of embarrassment.

Mustang twisted a moment more in his chair, his gaze falling on his Lieutenant as she sat diligently at her desk trying to ignore the boys' antics. _Could he tell that story? _"Well... there was this one girl..." He smiled in the telling as he watched her sweep a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was 16 and she was two years younger." It tumbled out in a rush before he could loose his nerve. "I had a thing for her, I was smitten I guess. Of course, she was completely off limits." He turned back to Havoc and the others enjoying their expressions of surprise but mostly avoiding the amber gaze that had begun to drill through the back of his skull.

"Off limits to you!" Havoc voiced the shock that was written over the other's faces.

Mustang tried to broadcast his usual, trademark, disinterested calm although he felt none of it "Her father would not have approved."

It was now Bredda's turn to distrust Mustang's words "and you let that stop you?"

"I was young, I respected the man and I knew if he found me messing around with his daughter" Mustang swallowed, _did he just hear the very distinctive squeak of Hawkeye's desk chair?_ "lets just say he was a man good for following through on his threats. Any way, she never really noticed me and probably thought I was a bit of a jerk..."

"And you weren't a jerk at that age, sir?" Riza interjected from her position across the room. Without turning he can hear her tap her watch and see her look of disapproval "Five more minutes boys, the work won't do itself."

_So that was how it was going to be? _He pitched his voice to carry across the room and continued the story with more gusto. "I probably was a jerk." He laughed just to needle her. The men leaned forward in interest; young Furey's glasses had even begun to fog. "Well, I thought at least we could be friends. She worked at a shop in town nothing special. Stationary and cards, the owner would do special printings of things, invitations, poems, stuff like that. Whenever I'd have time for myself i'd drop by to keep her company. After a while we'd get to talking and I'd think that we were starting to get somewhere. But, this went on for months, and while we'd become good friends she just didn't think of me that way."

"Imagine that!" Havoc interrupted sarcastically. _No, the Colonel wouldn't be pulling the wool over his eyes_.

Mustang cleared his throat and continued choosing to ignore the comment "Well, I went down to the shop to see her just as I always did but when I got there she was at the counter talking to this other guy across the register." He paused for dramatic effect, _no one could say he wasn't a good story teller._ "One of those big muscular types, he was the captain of one varsity team or another. His father was a big man in town and everyone expected great things from his son. So..."

"You were jealous." Havoc interjected not even trying to project distain or disbelief.

"did you hit him?" Bredda always liked to hear about a good fight.

"No, of course not." Mustang had them hooked and he knew it, _this might be worth incurring her wrath_ "But... I... I couldn't help but eavesdrop a bit. You know make sure she was alright."

"I'm sure she could have taken care of herself, sir." Riza added from where she stood not three feet from the back of his chair... _When had that happened._

Mustang swallowed again, _maybe this wasn't such a good idea, come to think of it "_It was clear after a few minutes that she didn't like the guy and he was actually starting to be a little pushy, leaning on the counter and getting into her space. She was trying to be polite and ask him to leave but he wouldn't take the hint." He raises his voice a bit enunciating his words carefully. "I would have stayed out of it altogether except he grabbed her."

Furey gasped, the poor boy was so enraptured by the story, he was literally siting at the edge of his seat. Even Falman was watching now, despite his earlier protests that he wanted nothing to do with this conversation.

Knowing a captive audience when he saw one Mustang continued in dramatic fashion, dynamic gestures and all. "He took hold of her wrist and she winced" He faltered for a moment when he heared Riza clear her throat, _too late to go back now _"...a bit. Not that anyone who didn't know her would have noticed... but, I couldn't have that now could I."

Bredda was practically hopping in his seat "did you hit him then?"

Mustang delivered his trademark smirk and couldn't help saying "No, of course not. I told him to get his hands off of my girlfriend." _He's sooooo dead._

"Smooth, sir" Havoc laughed at his expense, _finally some dirt on the pristine colonel_!

"Okay, so he didn't believe me and I was pretty sure she wasn't going to speak with me again" Mustang caught Riza's glare, _yep, sooooooooo dead. _ "- ever. The guy was ready to deck me, wanted me to prove she was my girlfriend. I was ready to get my ass handed to me when... well..." _He really couldn't be blamed for his shit eating grin, could he?_ "she kissed me. She grabbed me by the collar pulled me over the counter and planted one on me."

Bredda shook his head "not possible."

The others muttered their disbelief, even Falman couldn't help saying, "no one's that lucky"

Havoc had had it. He finally thought he had Mustang on the ropes, finally his suave CO would break and give him some embarrassing dirt to work with. But, No, Instead he comes up with that! "You've been jonesing after this girl forever, and this opportunity comes out of the blue and...and you're about to get clobbered and instead she... kisses you." The world was so. not. fair.

Mustang raised his hands in defense "I swear thats what happened"

"Prove it, who was she?" Falman, as always, needed evidence.

"Well I wouldn't want to be one to kiss and tell" Mustang dissembled, _was Hawkeye tapping her foot?_

Havoc saw his opening and took it. "yeah right, that clinches it"

Furey was genuinely curious "who is she?"

"I'm sure there are plenty of girls wishing they were your first kiss" Havoc dug in; Oblivious, unlike Mustang, to the glowering storm approaching.

"I'm..." _bad idea, bad idea, bad idea_ "not so sure about this one." Mustang gulped already calculating the amount of paper work he would need to do before Riza backed down from Def-Con 3.

There was the sound of the safety clicking off, "Times up" Riza clearly articulated. She didn't have to say it twice. The men sprinted for their desks and began to dutifully dot their I's and cross their T's if only to appease the resident Valkarie. Riza shut the door behind them before approaching Mustang's desk. The colonel sat leaning even more precariously back in his chair. _Was there such a thing as suicide by office furniture? _Riza raised her gun and, when she got the desired flinch out of him, clicked the safety back on and holstered it.

She leaned forward with both palms on the dark wood and smiled dangerously, "you know if I'd known you'd make this much of it I would have let Tim kill you."

"And why didn't you" _He was already a dead man, what did he have to loose?_

Riza sighed exasperated, moving her hands to rest on her hips. "Who would have had to explain it to Father?"

Mustang smirked, maybe a little humor would get him out of this. It had worked before... "You could have told him what you did the night of the Harvest Fair"

Riza let out the laugh he'd been hoping for "What... that _I_ hit you..."

_Not dead then? _"Yes, of course, its the only excuse he ever believed"

"Yeah, and you know how long I was saving that one?" Her smirk almost ruined the dead pan delivery.

There was a sound of something heavy hitting the floor and they both turned to see that the door Riza shut hadn't stayed closed. Falman knelt over a fallen Furey fanning the young man, while Havoc and Bredda didn't even have enough self preservation to shut their mouths...the men had to be shot at before their chins left the floor.


End file.
